Sunday Soul – too sweet to stay – May 1st 2011

Oh such an awful mistake
to never let go…

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  1. Sunshine:

    Sunday Soul is live now
    Join us!

  2. Sunshine:

    We’ve come to the end of our journey together for this week. Thank you for listening. I love you so much. See you next week! Good night.

  3. Sunshine:

    I’ve always thought it was a true act of love to see things through. At great expense to myself I have stood by the people I love, through thick and thin, hassle, heartache, celebration, and ceremony. I was quite the channel changer in my younger days, if you looked at me funny or said words I didn’t like, or we had awkward, or disappointing sex, I would close up my heart and be gone. And if you came for me, seeking an explanation, or, oblivious to what I was experiencing, you came toward me as if nothing had happened, I would let you have it. Last words, as it were. I have to say that this was quite effective in terms of knowing where I stood with people, never having to examine my own response, my own feelings, but I never learned how to resolve conflict, how to heal, and to grow beyond what time proved to show me was actually my problem, and not yours.

    Male model Henry Rollins says, “I don’t believe in fate or destiny. I believe in various degrees of hatred, paranoia, and abandonment. However much of that gets heaped upon you doesn’t matter – it’s only a matter of how much you can take and what it does to you.” While Mr. Rollins still seems to be coming from the perspective of the victim, I have to agree with the consequences of holding on to your “issues.” A little knowledge is a terrible thing, and thus a lot of information can be devastating. Time it seems, along with honest self appraisal, discovery and a lot of love and support are the only real healers for the holes in our human hearts. You see, for many years I felt sincerely that “everyone leaves.” And so I responded to the world as if it didn’t matter. Your love, beautiful as it is, is leaving… and so I don’t need to take you seriously, or love you back because, like everyone and everything else, you are leaving soon. A cursory review of my primary relationships in my life demonstrate that actually I was the one left. I left home, never to return. I left my girlfriends. I changed the channel on my friends, social scenes, bands, ideas, schools, teams, jobs. As soon as I felt unloved, unwanted, uncomfortable, or unhappy I bailed. And I didn’t just bail – I changed my hair, my style, my music, my places, my everything. I ran into the arms of new influences, new ideas, new places, and new people thinking “This time it will be different.’ Always naively believing that these things outside of myself would be what saved me — that in this environment I would thrive, and this would be real, and it would be ok. Well, what happened was that I brought myself to these new situations, and since I wasn’t looking at myself, I would repeat the same axioms of dependency and resentment, and end up in the same exact position. So I was a disco child, punk rocker, a mod, a ted, a new romantic, a goth, a beatnick, a queer, a raver, an anything… anyone but me, anywhere but here, any time but now. Eventually I had no other choice but to stop running, and stop looking outside of myself to find what was missing inside of myself.

    As the result I learned fidelity, friendship, commitment, durability, and the fledgling ability to at least try to look at myself in times of trouble and hurt, rather than only looking at you, and how you had failed me, hurt me, abandoned me. I didn’t really have any other choice — no scratch that, i don’t have any other choice — because I haven’t been able to keep these barricades closed. Sooner or later I find myself alone, aching for love I walked away from, and carrying myself as if that love walked away from me. The truth is that love simply never dies. It isn’t ours to kill. I can’t think of a single person in this world whom I have found my heart opening magically for that I don’t still love with all the tenderness and devotion that I once did. Circumstances, misunderstandings, betrayal, paths, potholes, and pitfalls may have torn us apart in terms of our association, our relative relationships, but the love is pure, whole, and remains unchanged. A lot of what seems like the “end” of love seems to really be our respective inability to accept one another’s growth and change. And so I endeavor to be a man who considers that love is only devotion to another person’s growth. To welcome change and growth is to welcome love into all aspects of my life. And saying goodbye is certainly one aspect of change which challenges us to truly abandon ourselves, and rather than taking this perception of loss, or grief, and celebrating where our love is going.

    This isn’t any different when we’re talking about how Henry Rollins became the singer for Black Flag – I felt he ruined them. He was a jock, a meat head, and I loved Black Flag because they were a wan, thin, and energetic voice of skinny little dorks from California. He brought a musclebound, athleticism to punk rock which repelled me – than it is when the Queen of our hearts boards a coach, and leaves for places we can not follow. The love doesn’t die. It changes. And in these sandals, it seems, the only thing to do is to open our hearts wider, and love more. To hold on to ideas, places, slices of time, is to adore only ourselves, and beg that each of us never grow, never spread our wings, and never follow the hearts in our chests which we keep saying we love so much. I stood at the platform as the coach pulled out of the station and had to ask myself, “Do I love you enough to say goodbye? Or am I so petty and small that I simply can not let go of what your departure makes me?”

    I wish it was a clean and simple as that. It is and it isn’t. But I hope your hearts are huge and loving enough to understand what I mean.

    Here is the track listing for Sunday Soul – Too Sweet To Stay:

    1. Sunday Soul – Program ID
    * introduction
    2. Ease Out – The Revenge Edit – Mid Air
    * leaving is an act of love
    3. Love to Stay – Altered Images
    4. Got To Get Out – Dato
    5. India – Lipelis & Simple Symmetry Remix – Mitzi
    6. Friday – Crazy P Remix – Fred Everything & 20for7 feat. Vanessa Baker
    7. I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On – Sunshine Jones Re Edit – Robert Palmer
    8. Release Myself – Casual Encounters Remix – Drop Out Orchestra
    9. Release Myself – Drop Out Orchestra
    10. I Wanna Dance – Tangoterje
    11. Stand On The Word – UnaBombers LoveTouch – Joubert Singers
    12. No Limits – Casual Encounters
    13. The Absurdity of Possession – Sunshine Jones *
    14. Fill Up My Heart – Sunshine Jones *
    * take responsibility for your own love
    15. Put the Freez On – rayko edit – Rayko
    16. Don’t Get In My Way – Sunshine’s Re Syncopation Version – Linx
    17. Bon Voyage – Odoardo
    * my heart beats for you
    18. It’s Here to stay – Dean Baker
    * we’ve still got a long way to go
    19. Dem People Go – Kruse & Nuernberg Remix – Dennis Ferrer
    20. Pacific Break – Reverso 68 Mix – The Beat Broker
    21. Love Is – Odoardo
    22. Blue Road – Sunshine Jones Remix – Masterchris
    * too sweet to stay
    23. Two Dots – Nic Fanciulli Remix – Lusine
    24. Tribe # 2 – Atjazz Assessment Dub Mix – Rhythm Of Elements
    25. Dawning – Dettmann & Klock
    * last overatures
    26. North East – El Carlitto
    * going down on you
    27. Four Million Miles – Sunshine Jones
    28. I Am Loved – Walter Jones
    29. Eye 2 Eye – Sunshine Jones Remix – Jaswho?
    30. My Life Is Perfect Now – Extended Club Mix – Dato
    31. Sunshine – Soul Weekender Mix – Black Science Orchestra
    32. Untitled Love – Still Going
    33. I Got Your Back – Dub – Sunshine Jones
    34. Pantha du Prince – Asha
    * fall down
    35. Billiards With A Midget – Worst Friends
    36. Neu Chicago – Rockmaster Rus B Instrumental Edit – Clive Tanaka y su orquesta
    37. Music Takes Me – Jon Brown
    38. Our Love Is An Edit – The Glue
    39. Sunday Soul – Program ID
    40. I Love You (Always Forever) – Donna Lewis
    41. Sunday Soul – Program ID

    Total Running Time: 03 Hours 51 Minutes 16 Seconds
    * Performed Live

    Listen to the Archive:
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    Thank you for listening. See you next week!

  4. Barbara Franklin:

    Thank you for yet another incredible set

  5. Heather Suzanne:

    Love this! Thank you!

  6. Stacy Osorio:

    thank you!

  7. Jeneva:

    “ is only devotion to another person’s growth.”

    Beautiful! I’ve got to sit with it for a while.

    Love you

  8. Ocean's Edge:

    I can’t get over this line: “To hold on to ideas, places, slices of time, is to adore only ourselves, and beg that each of us never grow, never spread our wings…”
    It’s so true and timely. Thank you so much for the reminder, Sunshine
    ♥ ♥ ♥

  9. Phoenix Lynn:

    I just tuned in and listened to the first couple songs…loving every minute…Thank you Sunshine!!

  10. Elaine Sokoloff:

    Beautiful you. Thank you. And thank you for still being around after all those changes, some of which I observed with curiosity as a youth haunting the same streets in Berkeley in the early 80s and some I’ve had the pleasure to stumble upon in the last half dozen or so years. Ever a light, and ever a mirror, you are, Sunshine. ♥

  11. Yabette Alfaro:

    i walked away from many people in my early years and have since learned to examine that as well. i can relate. thanks for sharing your heart and beautiful music.

  12. Tracie:

    it was a beautiful, deep, sweet and damn sexy set, I loved it, thanks sunshine : )

  13. Melanie:

    Ok, wow, just wow. The notes and tracklisting says it all, let alone the music. Sad to say, I have been so exhausted and felling ill this week from flying around SoCal to NorCal thesse past 6 months, finally to land on my own two feet this week,Ii fell asleep about an hour in. But you Mr. S. are always in my heart. And when I think of, I smile, reach out, and have reason to keep getting better and better. Thank you. (The other side keeps getting more beautiful) ♥ ♥ ♥

  14. Goly Casey:

    “but the love is pure, whole, and remains unchanged”

  15. Jennifer W:

    Sunday’s show was AMAZING. ♥ you.

  16. Fred M:

    Sunshine your work is undeniably changing my attitude on life, love, interpersonal interaction, the past, the future, the present, time, money, direction. I love how you weave the narrative into the set. Definitely eye opening, invigorating, and renewing.Please never stop and as soon as i get some more money i am sending you some! Speaking of which, if you know any musicians in the bay area please send them to this link: Thank you for all you do my friend!

  17. Moonbeam:

    you are beautiful. thank you.

  18. Audrey Jane:

    i can’t stop listening to this, even if it is now wednesday

  19. Matt Dingeledy:

    Finally getting around to listening now – VERY impressive!!! Making this Thursday afternoon a delight.