Sunday Soul – speechless – June 3rd 2012

“Shhh… don’t make a sound”

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  1. Sunshine:

    Sunday Soul is live now
    Join us!

  2. Sunshine:

    all done for tonight.
    thank you for listening.

    good night!

  3. Sunshine:

    There is a lot to be said for what we do, rather than what we say. The world is getting so crowded up with talking televisions hanging in the lobby, beeps, pings, the squawk of people shouting down their telephones, and all these funerals we keep having everywhere for the death of the expressions “excuse me” and “you’re welcome” it’s getting mighty hard to hear all these homeless people screaming outside. As the result I’ve become ever so slightly more visual. I’m learning to wait a second and watch before I join this glorious din of modern humanity. So if I’m looming outside with the dead souls in transit between the bathroom and the bank machine don’t be alarmed. I know I’m tall, and I am often wearing black (and I always wear sunglasses in the daytime,) but I mean no harm. I am not the herald of the apocalypse (certainly not, they’ll arrive as a quartet, one in black, one in red, one in grey and one in white and they’ll be just a little bit more obvious than me standing around in the rain trying to figure out if it’s worse inside than it is outside.)

    “Actions speak louder than words” it’s been drilled into my head. And that usually means that no one cares how you feel. They just want you to do what they say, right? The proverb is actually “It is more effective to act directly than to speak of action.” And strangely as much as I resist the former, I completely agree with the latter. To be effective is to act, not to hesitate or consider, or talk or wonder, or wait. Martin Luther King once explained why we can’t wait, and we will not wait, because what is right and good and loving is happening now, and if we delay, we will surely miss this moment now. Now, where love reigns supreme, and everything is actually ok. But to polarize ourselves and create distinction is to die a little isn’t it? “Those people” are terrible, and “these people” are good. Eventually the world becomes so infinitesimally small that there are none of “us” left. So we quiet our reactions, and mellow a little enough to vote with our mysterious feet. To connect is to be drunk, and to be happy is to forget. And then were are our words? And what are our true actions (and what are they saying?)

    I was standing downtown today watching the world flow around me. Part of my heart filled up with joy at how magnificent we are. Part of my heart broke into little pieces watching the sweet crumpled men sleeping against the glass dividers of the muni metro. A little piece of cardboard, and a ski cap and we’re home. I watched people walk past, not looking, not even pretending not to see. I stood against the railing of the 6th floor of our palatial San Francisco Centre and looked down. The feeling is irresistible. It’s hard not to give way to gravity as I leaned out and over the railing to take a picture. It’s strange too, because I have virtually no problem with holding my phone a few feet above ground, but when it’s hundreds of feet there is this curious sensation of falling that takes over me. I remarked that moments before I looked over the edge I didn’t even feel like I was very high up. It just felt like it always feels. But then looking over, watching the little patterns that people make as they come and go, and get lost, and then find their way that the force of gravity and perspective are all but completely lost until we have a point of reference. I mean, I don’t even feel like I’m “in the air” when I’m flying in an airplane. It feels more like a bus.

    Anyway, from my perspective I felt angry. I am speechless and I am outraged. We are really so selfish as a culture, so trapped by our own selves that we can barely see one another. And I suppose that’s quite right. The horror of our own little minds, fractured language, and thoughts which are vaguely deciphered impulses leaves me sure than shutting down, closing up, and then taking meds so we can keep going to work is absolutely the only logical conclusion. It’s like being a little out of shape and buying special food to have delivered to the house, and an ab-tronic system instead of walking to work, going outside, eating real, organic, delicious food. Naw, that’s never gonna work. And it isn’t. Because for it to “work” would mean that it must instantly transform us from the depths of our low self esteem into the heights of a photoshopped magazine image. We have unrealistic expectations, and it’s everyone else’s fault. In truth is seems we don’t really believe that we can change. Either that or we really don’t want to.

    I stood there at the edge of the open air mall and felt the strange breeze blow over me. I turned my face up to the light of the magnificent skylight at the top, and I closed my eyes. My heart melted a little, and I began to feel the pulse of the place I was standing in. My resistance to love is profound. My easy and adept grasp of how to wield my fears and lies is heroic. But my heart is pure, and I know what I’m doing a lot of the time. So I stopped, stood still, and listened. All of my resistance slipped back off my shoulders, and all of my fear, contempt, and division fell off me like the useless armor it truly is. And when I was really truly in the moment, I opened my eyes. I joined the crowd of people. I ran my errand, and I climbed back aboard the underground and headed for home.

    I am at a personal crossroads. I want to get more angry, and thrash you all for your contribution to this fucked up, alienated, and apparently miserable world. I want to cry out “uncle” and surrender. I want an Audi and a beautiful loft with one wall made out of windows. I want to run from this vile buttonhole of a place and dive into the sea of absolutely anywhere else but here. I want to stand up as tall as I can (and I am pretty tall) and stake my claim to this little corner of the world where I am actually from and feel that I belong. I want to recuse myself to a limited set of little electronic boxes and nothing else, having no further relationship with my macintosh when it comes to making music, and I want to organize a string quartet and a band of lusty drummers to slap their beautiful hands against the skins and never see another keyboard again in my life. I want to shake some sense into you. I want to hold you tightly while you weep. I want to make love with everyone I meet. I never want another human hand to touch my lips, or my torso again. I want to be seen for who I am, as I am, in this moment now. I want to evaporate completely, and rather than hoisting myself up and over the edge of this railing, I would simply disappear. These warring factions are so easy to materialize. I can manufacture them in almost any moment. The trick it to actually see what’s happening. The trick is to successfully parse the difference, and discover that the true path is right up the middle.

    So while we are staring, before our lips get too dry, let me say this. There is no shame in your amazing success. You deserve to be paid well for your hard work. There is no glory in your ignorance. Educate yourself. Use your words. Wake up. There is no object, product, idea, or concept big enough to ever fill the huge hole in your soul. You can not smoke it away, nor ignore it for another moment. The time is now.

    And so what’s with the theme? Why am I yelling at you in such a doom and gloom manner? What happened to me this weekend? What’s crawled up my ass and died?

    I actually had an amazing weekend. I went out on friday and really enjoyed a friend’s company. I went out on saturday – to Wicked – and danced like a lunatic and reveled in jeno and markie’s truly amazing music, met up with so many beautiful friends, and brought that sweetness home with me, and woke up the next afternoon wondering why in the fuck we do that once a year instead of every single night. So yeah, things are really good. But something’s gotta give baby. Something’s got to let up.

    So let’s just stand here for a moment, and breathe. Let’s just look into each other’s eyes and really see. Let’s just be. I intend to do a good many things, but for this moment now I have nothing left to say. And the virtue of our being, right here and now, beside one another, will be the golden and glittering prize we have always wanted.

    Last night’s broadcast was an effort on my part to blend some vintage records, and some wonderful new music into a mosaic which reflects the space between these two vicious sides of my own perception, and then hold them apart for a few hours and let love wash over my face, allow myself to be fragile, mortal, angry, beloved, and human. And so here is the track listing for Sunday Soul – speechless

    1. Sunday Soul – Program ID
    2. Vangelis – Memories of Green
    * introduction
    3. Depak Ine – John Talabot
    4. Feel What You Want – Phonique feat. Rebecca
    5. Skyrunner – Hologram
    6. North – Christian Malloni
    * sounds from our mouths
    7. Vibe Your Love – Maceo Plex
    8. Changed – Soul Clap Remix – Mario & Vidis
    9. Bel 189 Trax – DMX Krew
    10. Love Me Forever or Love Me Not – Steve Travolta Dubby EFX Re-edit – Trilogy
    11. The Sun Rising – The Beloved
    12. Mystical Tree – Hal Incandenza
    13. Where Love Lives – 12″ Classic Mix – Alison Limerick
    14. Playboy – instrumental – B.G. Baarregaard
    15. All-Night-Long – The Groovers
    16. Say It Again – Club Mix – Jestofunk
    17. Throw – Paperclip People
    18. Promise Land – Drop Out Orchestra Unofficial Live Remix – The Style Council
    19. And I Don’t Love You – Larry Levan & Barry Medina dub – Smokey Robinson
    20. To Prove My Love – Ned Doheny
    21. Around – Solomun Vox Remix – Noir
    22. In The Air Tonight – Osunlade Mix – Phil Collins
    * speechless…
    23. Pancho’s Revenge – Ilya Santana Chase Mix – Garth & Anthony Mansfield
    24. Beautiful Burnout – Underworld
    25. Liquid Love – Instrumental Mix – Ron Hardy
    26. Groove La Chord – Aril Brikha
    27. The Climax – re edit of the Bootleg Version – Carl Craig
    28. Mmm Skyscraper I Love You – Underworld
    29. Hey! Hey! Can U Relate – Sunshine Dub Instrumental – DJ Mink
    30. Heavy Water – ANOESIS
    31. Ninja Walk – DJ Food
    32. Annihilate – Lost Entity
    33. Deep inside the Rainbow – Mojo Filter Rework – Mojo Filter ft. Small Faces
    34. Sea Of Nuhuhu – Tape Version – Legowelt
    35. Vehemence Of Silence – Motor City Drum Ensemble Perspective – Andre Lodemann
    * here
    36. There Is No Light – Soul Minority Remix – Luke Fair
    37. Standing On The Shore – Lifelike Remix – Empire Of The Sun
    38. Mystery of Love – Instrumental – Inc. Fingers
    39. Fate – Todd Terje Edit – Chaka Khan
    40. I Feel Good Things For You – Daddy’s Favourite
    41. Hold Back Love – Lovebirds Remix – KRAAK & SMAAK
    42. Piano saved My life – Hurt Russell
    43. Ikopol – Dauwd
    * voices
    44. Blue Skies – Ray Mang Remix – Cadillac
    45. Journey Into A Dream – Perfect Essence Instrumental – D T R
    46. April Come She Will – Simon & Garfunkel
    47. Sunday Soul – Program ID
    48. So Will Be Now… – John Talabot
    49. Sunday Soul – Program ID

    Total Running Time: 04 Hours 30 Minutes 33 Seconds
    * Performed Live

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