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all done for this week – thank you for listening – i love you – archive up tomorrow – good night!
Saint Benedict – Abbot of Monte Cassino, 5th Century patron protector of Europe and author of seventy three short little chapters called ‘The Rule’ describing how to run a monastery efficiently and how to live a christocentric life on earth – said this: “I’d like all of you to pause for a moment, you wretched weaklings, and take stock of your miserable existence.”
I don’t think he meant to be brutal with yourself. I think he meant to be honest and brave, and to honestly look at where we are failing to love. From there, what to do next is easy. Love.
Last night’s broadcast was curious. I didn’t want to be alone, so I reached out and found the sweet company of so many people. I tried, in my way, to express the theme – heartless – both with the musical selections as well as with my own improvisation. I wanted to raise the question of why we find those who are cruel, and withhold their love out of fear, or perhaps a misguided fear that is expressed as cruelty so irresistible. I wanted to raise the question of how and why we seem to turn outward and hold things outside of ourselves accountable for our own internal condition. I wanted to posit the idea that if we could loosen our grip, ever so slightly, on these lies we tell ourselves, and gaze with any degree of compassion at ourselves we would find that the cruel abandoner of our hearts is actually us. And then I wanted to raise my own heart up, and cheer you on as you turn to love yourself.
The mixing was awkward at times, but I think that was an expression of both the subject, as well as my own personal condition right now. I’ve been hit on every day for a while now. Sometimes twice a day. Called late at night to “get together” and texted here and there for similar reasons. Love and the opportunity to express love is all around me now. And yet, I have been behind closed doors. My answer is, for the time being, no. The response to this has been interesting. Most people don’t take no for an answer. I assume that’s because I’m a man, and so I’m supposed to always want to have sex, or hook up with anyone who asks. While this isn’t true about me, I also have to remark at just how lonely these propositions have made me feel. I don’t feel like a person, I don’t feel seen, or truly wanted or loved. Rather, I feel nothing. Heartless.
Yesterday was a lovely day – the sun came out and the sky was magnificently filled with the last of the rain clouds from last week’s pouring rains. I went to Oakland and played a little set at the Soundwave Studios morning party, and then I met up with a friend and we talked in depth about how to open our hearts to love, and how to be sweet to ourselves when being cruel seems so much more appealing. Then I headed for home, and prepared myself for a nice long set.
In a way I feel like I have so much more to say about this, but this is all I want to say for now.
So here is the track listing for Sunday Soul – heartless
1. Sunday Soul – Program ID
2. How My Heart Behaves – Feist
3. Moon Dream – Cosmic Gal
4. Too Hard – Aeroplane Remix – Coyote
5. Why Does The Wind – Andre Lodemann Remix – Tracey Thorn
6. Regina’s dance – Richard Schneider Jr.
7. I Got Your Back – Sunshine Jones
8. Say My Name – Holy Ghost!
9. So Beautiful – Deco
10. Highway To Saturn – D-Pulse
* a helpless opening of my heart
11. Foam – Subsky
12. While You Were Sleeping – Dub – Sunshine Jones
* in your mind
13. Fuerza Major – Tensnake Remix – Camaro’s Gang
14. Four Million Miles – Sunshine Jones
* where is your mind? and what have you done with my heart? – irreconcilable conflict version
15. You Keep on Moving – T2MM Edit – The Two Mamarrachos
* holding you accountable with what compassion I am capable of right now – reprise
16. Time To Come – Ilya Santana
17. Places – Space System
18. Secret Fire – The Peaking Goddess Collective
19. Neeve – Projections, Woolfy
20. Don’t Leave me – Franck Roger
21. There For Me – Main Vocal Mix – Fish Go Deep
* love and service
22. Movin on – Lexx
23. Night People – The Revenge Midnight Mix – Ilija Rudman – Ilija Rudman
24. Square One – Rub n’ Tug Remix – Coldplay
25. Synchronize – Discodeine
26. So simple – Rasiyah
27. Love Sequence – Fernando
28. I Got A Feeling – Shit Robot
29. Love Is Like Oxygen – Sunshine’s Disco Ending Edit – The Sweet
30. In The Morning – Junior Boys
31. Miura – Metro Area
32. Heart and Soul – Sunshine Jones Dub Version – Joy Division
* all the stars fell down from the sky again, and again, and again…
33. Who You Are – Junior Boys Remix – Zwicker
34. For The Time Being feat. Erlend Oye – Phonique
35. And I Don’t Love You – Larry Levan & Barry Medina dub – Smokey Robinson
36. Stellar Way – Acos Coolkas
* you’ve got a heartless way about you
37. Hypnogogia – Dynamachine
38. Shift – Force Of Nature Instrumental Mix – Ana
39. Sunday Soul – Program ID
40. Magic Man – Heart
41. Sunday Soul – Program ID
Total Running Time: 03 Hours 40 Minutes 54 Seconds
* Performed Live
Listen to the Archive:
The archive for this broadcast is posted now for your pleasure both in the bottom of the community page at http://treehousemuzique.com — my little tiny record label — as well as in the footer of http://sundaysoul.com — the home page of this broadcast — There you can stream the transmission again, or download it for your iPod if you like. You can also click the download link on your iPhone or iPad and simply stream it and enjoy it in real time wherever you have a data connection.
This archive will remain posted for a week, or until a new program archive replaces it (whichever comes first.) If you want to listen to more archives, visit sundaysoul.com and click on the “selected archives” link for something like 500 hours of archival sunday soul broadcasting.
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Notes about next week
Dubtribe are performing in Denver next Saturday night and right now I really don’t know if I’m going to be back in time for Sunday Soul. I will work it out and let you know. Keep close.
Thank you for listening. See you next week!
Love,
Sunshine