tonight in san francisco, and some other stuff about my internal process and growth as an artist.

I’m playing tonight with Doc at Remedy in San Francisco. Eric Sharpe is opening up at my invitation, and I agred to play the middle set. Everyone I know is included, and it looks like it’s gonna be a great show. I’m excited, pacing around my flat fussing. Time to get up and get out and save some of this energy for the show itself. It’s not fear really, it’s excitement and anticipation. Interesting, as I meditate and feel the morning sun on my face, how similar those two emotions can appear without some reflection.

Doc and his wife got to town last night and we went to a late dinner and talked, listening to music and enjoying each other until quite late. I love my friend Doc. The irony of the full circle we’ve shared is restorative, and inspiring to me. I just love sitting on my red exercise ball (how I sit in my studio to save my lower back) listening to his amazing music, saying things like “Man, I gotta remix this!” and loving every single song he plays me, loving his wife’s voice, wanting copies of the music so I can play them in my DJ sets, and enjoying the beautiful development he’s undergone in the last ten years.

I produce music, but with much less urgency than I used to. I make music for me now. I love to re edit, and re mix, and sing, and embellish, but the purpose has changed. Rather than feeling like I have to prove something to anyone, the chip on my shoulder is all but dissolved, and ambition is replaced with dreams, tones, and the desire to reach well beyond the familliar places of excitement, and approval. For me, mixing records is more inspiring than enything else. The new process I’m investigating, re looping, re editing, improvising, and just forging through sounds and emotions is where I’m at.

I said “I think I’m done yelling at people.” and I meant it. It’s a huge piece of what I came to in the middle of my set a couple weeks ago in DC. This idea that the past is gone, and yelling is really uncalled for. Doc and Lily laughed and smiled at me. I felt myself get a little defensive for a second and then let it go. I said it. They didn’t. My friends simply agree with me. It’s time to whisper, and sing. It’s time to demonstrate, not preach or speak. Though speaking, rather, spoken word, is a huge part of who I am as a performer, perhaps to be more subtle, more mantra-like is what we really need right now. Emolliants, balms, salve, these are the things which are more attractive, and most powerful.

I also said that I have a note to myself on my desktop to “stop singing about love.” This produced a gasp, and two friends toegazing. Yes, love is the message. It is. But love is what we do, it’s just not what we say, or what we need right now. I mean to say that my love is bigger than a simple love song. I want to reach beyond these naiive metaphors, and say something else entirely. I suppose it’s to be expected that this path would lead further away from stomping dance floor filling tunes, as always the power is in the application, the moment, it is harder to grock from the outside, or streaming over the inter-web. You have to be there. I want you to be there. When we are there together, and the music is moving, surging in the speakers, I am liberated and free to sift through the crowd, tossing out the superficial, the drunk, the lame, and embrace the lonely, the lovely, the thirsty, and the beautiful. When we break into a simple arpeggiate, and take the frequency down, until nothing is happening but a throb of bass, and you are there with me, that is the love I am talking about.

I have to be fearless, and clear. I am working very hard and enjoying the process of moving myself almost entirely out of the way.

So if you live in, or near San Francisco. It’s Friday the 13th of April, and I trust and believe you are coming out tonight to gather with us, and get down.

The flyer and more information is here if you want to see it, but the basics are that Doc, Sunshine, and Eric are playing at Remedy.

Remedy is held at the dna lounge (11th and folsom) in San Francisco.

It’s $10 in advance, $15 in advance the day of, and $20 at the door to get in, and it’s 21 and over only.

Eric plays from 10pm until 11:15
I’m playing from 11:15 until 1am
Doc will play from 1am until 4am.

See you there.

One Comment

  1. Jaya:

    It was utterly fabulous, immensely pleasurable, and cosmically profound. Watching you flash between the 16 year old boy that I knew with the man that I know now was amazing. You gave it up and tore it loose.

    Dancing my a** off with a friend that I’ve known since 1984, shook all of the spirits in that club loose (we were at the opening night for the DNA lounge a hundred or so years ago.) All my years in the city were flashing before my eyes, some ancient bits and pieces of me reintegrating into present time.

    When you started the groove of Do it Now, it was breathtaking to watch beaming smiles spread like fire across the dancefloor. It was so powerful to witness the collective joy of people that know and love your music. People who were dancing somewhat shyly or reserved were smiling and making eye contact–beaming. I was proud of you and love love loved seeing the impact of your gifts on the audience.

    On the drive home, my friend and I were marvelling at a night of soul-reunion and the good kinda tired that comes from surrenduring to the dance. Then he laughed and said, “that guy never gave us a break, we had to keep on dancing. He’s a slave-driver.” hahaha. It’s true. : )