Sunday Soul – No Place Like Home – June 24th 2012

“There’s no place like home
There’s no place like home
There’s no place like home…”

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  1. Sunshine:


    Sunday Soul is live now.
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  2. Sunshine:

    All done for this month… thank you for listening. I love you, I love you, like the stars above you. Good night. xoxo

  3. Sunshine:

    I ran away from home when I was a child. I left and never returned. At the time I couldn’t filter out the noise in my head, the casual blend of anger and sadness which seemed to come over me like a terrible virus that didn’t get better, or go away. The symptoms of silence, unexpressed rage, exploding sexuality and violence did not subside, and it took handfuls of quaaludes and seconal, bottles of cheap whiskey, and endless spoons of opiates and amphetamines to approach anything like quiet inside of me. Of course these miracle drugs left me dead in a bathtub by the time I was 17, but I never believed there was a future anyway, so I was not deterred by the fear of death, or threat of damage to my health. I didn’t care. Not that I consciously thought this, but from my actions it seemed that quiet inside of me was more important than anything else.

    My parents divorced when I was 8. At the time I was glad. My home wasn’t happy, and I was thrilled when my mother woke me in the middle of the night, and we packed our things and stole out into her orange volvo station wagon and headed out into the stars. I left my brother behind, my dog, and the only sense of “normal” I would ever know. I didn’t know that this would fracture me even further than I was already. I thought it would heal my mother, make her happy, and I thought it would heal me too. I imagined a happy home, away from yelling, fists, violence, and isolation where we would be happy at last. My mother in those days was truly my best and only friend. I wanted her to be happy, and even though I didn’t have words yet to express how I felt, I knew we were moving in the right direction.

    For a year we were happy. I remember the year between 8 and 9 as the only happy year of my childhood. My mother and I lived in a little house by ourselves. I had a baby duck for a pet. I went to a new school and made my first friends. My hair grew out from a silly bowl cut into feathered, shoulder length hair. People liked me. I played doctor with the neighbor girls, and we dreamt of growing up, getting married, being happy.

    My mother remarried, I began to drink alcohol every day, taking pills just to see what they would do, and we moved from our little happy house to Telegraph Hill. I lost myself again completely. I had cracked my head open in a drainage ditch, so my beautiful hair had to be shaved off and 81 stitches sewn slowly into my scalp. The world looked different with a shaved head in 1976. The whole world had long hair, facial hair, pubic hair. Everything was about hair. And I scowled at the world through crooked glasses, and a velour v-neck pullover shirt and high-waited, whaler bell Brittania jeans. My little refuge turned upside down, and there was no place for me in it anymore. Since I never spoke I didn’t have the words for what I was feeling. I didn’t tell anyone. I just put on my plastic jacket, wrapped my cowboy boots in lamp chains, and never returned.

    I made my home in the streets of San Francisco. I made my home in arms of lonesome men. I made my home in the ever changing arms of protective women. I made my home in a plywood box sitting on top of a boat trailer in a small parking lot beside a pizza parlor. I made my home in a needle. I made my home in the bathroom of burned out bars, and community halls. I made my home in the company of homeless people, lost kids, and hustlers, liars, fighters, lovers, and fiends.

    I suppose I have not yet let go of the idea that “home” is a place I can still go. I still believe that somehow, you and I will connect, and love will reign supreme. That as free as you are, love will bring you home. I still believe that I am home. I still believe that you are home. So no matter where we go, no matter what we do, no matter what we feel, no matter what… we will come home, and heal, and love, and grow. I’ve never had a home. Not like this. But I am willing, and I am ready to accept responsibility for myself, and keep my own house in order, and be the radiant home I have ached for all my life. If it weren’t for all this unconditional love I feel so dearly and deeply for the world I would say something stupid here like “sometimes I wonder if I’ve ever even been in love.” And if it weren’t for all this joy I find in the present moment I would say something even more stupid here like “sometimes I am just so happy that I want to throw myself off the roof.”

    Of course I’ve been in love. I have given freely of my heart. And of course I am not going to jump off the roof. Jumping sounds like fun, but we can’t fly. So it’s best just to crawl over to the edge, and remember that the roof is on a building which contains my house. My home.

    Last night’s broadcast was perhaps a dissertation on how maybe in my heart of hearts still believe in “home” but I know that there is truly no place to set my heart down just yet. No place I know anyway. I gathered you up to love you with all my heart with the idea that as alone as we are, we are all together. We are like beautiful stars, shining in the night’s sky. Attendance was excellent, and the community was warm and easy. New and old faces in the chat, and lots of listeners throughout the night. So much support and love. Thank you.

    Wherever you find yourself in this world my friend. May the stars heal your heart, and bring you right home. I’ll be here, loving you the whole time.

    Here is the track list for Sunday Soul – No Place Like Home

    1. Sunday Soul – Program ID
    2. The White Arcades – Harold Budd
    * intro
    3. Depak Ine – John Talabot
    4. Nomalizo – Letta Mbulu
    5. Missing – The Starkiller Remix – Bruce Springsteen
    6. My Life Is Perfect Now – Extended Club Mix – Dato
    7. In Your Memory – Depeche Mode
    8. Hitney Whouston – Deep & Disco
    9. A Sort Of Homecoming – Michael Cassette Remix – Paul Keeley
    * turning away from you
    10. Dirty Love – Louie Fresco Summer Sunshine Remix – Sunshine Jones
    11. Ballet Du Saboteur – Rev3 – Masterchris feat. Sunshine Jones
    12. Peaches – Black Motif
    13. Walkin’ On A Cloud – Kolombo & Compuphonic
    * sweet darling
    14. Ruff N’ Stuff – Alkalino
    * Home
    15. Ridin’ High – Lee Stevens & The Beautiful People
    16. With You – MAM Remix – Flight Facilities feat. Grovesnor
    17. Handle it – JKriv’s Razor-N-Tape Dub – Sharon Redd
    18. Feel Reel – Kon remix – Illvester
    19. Just Let Me Dance – Maxxi Soundsystem Remix – Scandal
    20. Built For Love – Psychemagik Remix – Kraak & Smaak ft. Romanthony
    21. Dancing On My Own – Robyn
    22. Diverse – The Analog Roland Orchestra
    * everybody’s just doing the best they can
    23. Love Generator – TDRMC Calls It Love Remix – The Glue
    24. Fade to Grey – 12″ Version – Visage
    25. Same Mistakes – Extended Version – Sunshine Jones
    26. People Are People – Depeche Mode
    27. Hit It Off – Sunshine Jones Re Edit – Millie Jackson
    28. Four Thirty – Ali Jamieson
    29. August – Soft War
    30. Love Inside – Disco Tech
    31. Love Comes Quickly – Pet Shop Boys
    32. No Other Lover – B.G. Baarregaard
    33. Mellow Mellow – Debonair
    34. All we really need – Michael McDonald
    35. Changed – Soul Clap Remix – Mario & Vidis
    * we are shining under the stars
    36. Innaspace – The Revenge
    * excerpt from ‘Boule De Suif’ by Guy De Maupassant
    * the rich make war. we make love
    37. Space Team – The Starkiller Remix – Bernard Fevre
    38. Sure Thing – Tre Damit Rework – Miguel
    39. HOLD TIGHT – Sunshine Jones Re Edit –
    40. Teach Them No Hate – Lord of the Isles
    * i think it’s over
    41. Exit – Pablo Bolivar
    42. I Sleep Under The Sand – Sunshine Jones Rework the Re Edit – Zeb
    43. Tales From A Nomad – Frisvold & Lindbaek Remix – Kohib
    44. Heaven – Paul Lyman Instrumental Remix – Unkle
    45. Treten – Teen Daze
    46. Your Silent Face – New Order
    47. Fuga – Dany Dorado
    * in your eyes i’m home
    48. Artifice – Kolombo & Compuphonic
    49. Rain – Tones On Tail
    51. Sunday Soul – Program ID
    50. Somewhere Over The Rainbow – Judy Garland
    52. Crazy Love – Van Morrison
    53. Sunday Soul – Program ID

    Total Running Time: 04 Hours 39 Minutes 06 Seconds
    * Performed Live

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