sǝuoſ ǝuıɥsunS

My step father and I spent a lot of friday night and some of saturday morning talking about my experience of meditation and how love appears, sitting in perfect posture, knees touching mine, right before me. We laughed about this. He was delighted, but I was frustrated. I tell you it is difficult to meditate when the Queen of your heart is sitting before you in the sun light streaming in through the windows. Not half as hard as it is to open your eyes and find she is not there at all, but it’s still quite difficult.

He reminded me of what meditation is all about, and suggested I welcome her there. I do, of course. She is so welcome. We grinned at one another.

Then he asked “What does she want?”

I grew silent, and a little sullen. I didn’t know. It made me sad. I couldn’t explain it well enough to him.

He said, “Find out.”

This morning I meditated for 15 minutes before I got up and made coffee. She was not there with me. I was very sad. But then I took a long morning walk. I brought my camera and took photos, a purple ticket fell out of the sky and landed on my head. I laughed. There she was. She was here. It was fun to grin and dance down the street with the purple ticket in my hand, laughing. For once I probably looked almost as crazy as I feel.

This afternoon I was at a meeting of people I know and love. We talk every sunday at 4 about seeking connection with the universe through meditation. After the main speaker is done, we all close our eyes, and do whatever we wish to with the following three minutes.

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath, adjusted my posture, and exhaled slowly. At first I was worried, because there was a dark spot in my left eye. I thought that I might be getting a migraine. But I relaxed, and trusted, and concentrated on my breathing. The blurry darkness slowly came into focus, it was the face of my love. It was her forehead, her eyebrow, and her eye. I accepted this, and continued to breathe, remain calm, relax. Her face snuggled closer to mine, and I felt her lips part, and softly, softly kiss my upper lip tenderly.

My own lips parted, and I felt warm tears running down my face. I have done all that was asked of me since this moment, but I am beyond words to explain. My heart, in tiny scraps of confetti, my brain is scattered, and my feet are no longer on the ground. I am much too happy. I can’t stand it.

If you don’t hear from me for a few days, call the aero-patrol, and ask them to send out the dirigibles, because I will have most certainly floated away…