I was in the Store of the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art when I noticed the bike up against the wall. Everyone I know seems to either drive a big car, or ride a mountain bike around the streets of San Francisco. I’m not interested in a mountain bike, or car. I love Vespas, but right now I just don’t feel good about the expense, or burning gasoline for any reasons of luxury. I’m a hypocrite, it’s true. I take a taxi in a pinch, I ride the bus, and fly on airplanes all over the world. But for my personal transportation, the only choice in a city like San Francisco is my feet. Yet, there I was staring with awe and wonder-lust at a genuine Oma and Opa three speed bike.

I’ve been to the Netherlands where everyone rides this Grandma and Grandpa style bike. I was moments away from actually buying an unpainted, stainless steel three sped bike in Tokyo when I realized the shipping costs would be twice the price of the bike itself. Once I had a vintage style Schwin, but without gears, and the heavy steel frame…. well, I gave up.

These Dutch style Oma and Opa bikes are made by Jorg and Olif. They make a beautifully detailed model for over a grand, and a new style that’s less ornate (which I actually prefer) for around $500. I really believe that this style bicycle is the next big thing in personal transportation. Why pay $4 a gallon for gas, and spend an hour looking for parking, fucking up the planet, and fueling the “war” in Iraq when you can roll up like it’s 1920 with a pair of saddle bags and a pair of smart loafers?

Jorg and Olif have a pretty website.
There’s also a site called The dutch bicycle company which imports bikes from the Netherlands, but they’re well over a grand, and very fancy. Check out the skirt guard! Perfect.

My only question is this:
If I get one without the bar across the top, purely because I like the way the swooping bar looks, and also because I don’t like how it feels to rest my scrotum on an aluminum tube in traffic, will anyone tease me for buying a girl’s bike?