I’m here today to announce what may very well be the official end of the Thomas the tank engine love affair we have enjoyed in our house for some time. I believe it’s not too hasty of me to describe our current frenzy of super heros flying from one end of the house to the other.

The flash is running (really fast) from the kitchen to the living room, Hawkgirl is flying all around the world (with or without her “banger”,) Batman likes his computer a lot, Dr. Fate is a very good friend to Hawkgirl, Starman can harness the power of the stars to produce untold blasts of light, and Superman is really strong.

The morality play of good versus evil is simple. Often paper robots come to trick the super heros into turning off their deep space probe… Superman, being as blind as he is strong insists that they make whatever sacrifice possible to help the robots. Batman, a dark horse under ordinary circumstances, runs to his computer and begins a thoughtful search of data. Martian Manhunter, though skeptical by nature, is willing to assist and operate as a conscience for the red diapered man of steel.

Meanwhile, Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman, Dr. Fate, Starman and the more mystical heros quickly discover that this is all a ruse. The Xenonian robots are, of course, planning to launch an all out assault on the earth just as soon as Super dingus convinces Batman to turn off the monitoring device. But they’re too late. Superman has already found this out the hard way and is, beside Martian Manhunter, encased inside a prison-bot on the distant planet of Xenon.

The battle for earth begins: Metamorpho, Black Cat, Cyclops, Mr. Gold, WIldcat, Hawk and Dove are essentially fodder for the marauding robots. They are easily taken out without a second thought. However, Spider-man, Green Lantern and Hawkgirl are not so quickly defeated. They rise to the occasion and with furious little hands to guide them, they smash the would be oppressors and emerge triumphantly.

But what of Superman and Martian Manhunter? I knew you were worried about them… So was I.

Well, the super heros still standing all climb into a rocket ship and quickly make their way to Xenon, a planet very near the sun which looks a lot like Neptune to me, and again battle the Xenonian robots that did not make the journey to earth. They are as easily mopped up as those on earth were. Superman is freed, he is weak, but feeling great. Martian Manhunter has not fared as well. He needs to be carried to the space ship and cared for by Hawkgirl until he feels better.

Upon their arrival at the Watch Tower, the Justice League’s satellite space station, the wounded are accounted for and quickly tended to. The victorious are rewarded and cheered.

Has Superman learned his lesson? Will Batman ever learn to trust anyone? Can the Flash be useful in any capacity aside from being “really fast” and really easy to beat up? What is the purpose of this violence? What did it accomplish? Was it worth it?

Find out the answers to these and other thrilling questions as these plays unfold in our living room.

Until then…