Here’s to a continued journery, and lots of learning.

* cllink *

yes. it definitly was a phase for me. looking back, i feel like lsd only enhances and projects what is already believed. it is not really a new world but a dynamic enhancement of what already exist in the mind. at the time of my lsd phase i was reading a lot of joseph campbell and hence i would “see” things in buddhist images or other mythologies that i had read previously.

it took a kick in the ass in the form of a breakdown for me to finally move past this self-centered activity. i always learn my lessons the hard way it seems. : )

someone was talking about his life withme and some friends last wednesday night, and he was saying how he’d always felt that he was different, special somehow, and as a kid he imagined this difference as a bad thing.

drugs like lsd and mushrooms, speed and alcohol made him feel like he was smarter than everyone else, as if he had discovered a secret, or tapped into the root of another plane of existence. he went on to say that he concoted little worlds, and dreams, plans, and ideas and explored the secret understanding he felt he had opened up within himself.

years later, after a great deal of counceling and hard work on himself, my friend came to see that all children going through puberty believe, to one dgree or another, that they are completely misunderstood, special, unique, living in private dream worlds, which they then must negotiate and make sense of as it relates to the real world around them. this is a natural part of growing into an adult, with or without drugs.

it’s amazing how self centered we human beings can be. I am reassured by the thinking that this is both human, and completely natural as a phase of development. something to move beyond, something everyone goes through.

that is a really interesting quote. i, not realizing or intending it, took my own trip to the void with nitrous oxide and lsd. all i found was a empty pleasure filled mind and all my unconscious fears hurling at me in a hellish nightmare.

not quite the heaven i was expecting to find. i thought some chemicals could take the place of hard work and self-exploration. impatient greed on my part.

but it seems daumal went pretty deep. did he die huffing? i felt it was a thin line and that if i wanted to not get up and just die that that was an option.

wierd i never heard of him.

CHILS!!!!!!!!!!