I snore. Fuck. I fucking snore. I’ve always known that I grind my teeth, and that I can be a little bit of a “grope whatever’s next to me from deep sleep” casualty, and that’s all bad enough… but I fucking snore. Shit.
So what I want to know is what can I do about it? I’ve tried the plastic strips… they hurt, and they don’t work. I’ve read up on how I can elect to have my glotis surgically removed with a lazer. Um… not gonna do that. Next remedy to try is these things I’m supposed to stick up my nose…
Here’s some of the suggestions the inter-web have to offer:
1. Elevate your head by sleeping on a thicker pillow or multiple pillows will help reduce your snoring.
I already sleep with two pillows, and it hurts my neck
2. Don’t drink alcoholic beverages, take sleeping pills, tranquilizers, or antihistamines right before going to sleep, they will cause your muscles to relax and limit your air passage way.
Irrelevant… I don’t drink.
3. Avoid dairy products, which can cause mucus build-up right before you go to sleep
Check. No warm milk for me…
4. If you are overweight, losing some weight will reduce snoring by increasing the space in your air passage way.
If I lose any more weight I probably die… I am sooo skinny
5. Sleeping on your side instead of your back will help to prevent snoring.
Check. I think I already sleep on my side.
6. Try following a regular sleep routine.
Um…
7. Try taking in a little bit of honey before sleeping.
Roger that. I can do that.
8. Don’t eat a big meal right before bed, if your stomach is full it will push up on your diaphragm and limit breathing passage ways.
I’m with you there. I don’t like to go to bed on an even semi full stomach.
9. Purchase some nasal strips and put them on before going to sleep. Nasal strips will open up your nostrils and allow more air to come in, thus reduce snoring.
Been there, done that. Seems to help at first, but not enough…
10. Take anti-snoring pills or use anti-snoring nasal spray.
Don’t forget sweing a half a tennis ball to the back of my shirt (I sleep nude) and the mouth guard which is supposed to make my jaw stick out so far that I literally can’t snore. Awesome! What a sexy bedtime.
a snorting or grunting sound in a person’s breathing while asleep
and as a verb:
breathe with a snorting or grunting sound while asleep
In use:
you keep me awake all night with your snoring.
And the origins:
Middle English (in the sense [a snort, snorting] ): probably imitative; compare with snort .
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
Can anyone help?
22 Comments
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from my experience with you, when you fall asleep on your side, you do not snore. but you always end up on your back — when you do snore. i was always able to sleep very well with you. is your snoring keeping you awake at night or waking you up while you’re sleeping? why do you “hate” it?
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Mostly I “hate” the very idea of being one of those awful people who saw logs all night. The thought that my neighbors can hear it is humiliating to me.
I am not sleeping particularly well these days, lots of stress, so much on my mind, the errant tooth grinding will certainly wake me up, but this snoring business is over the top.
How can I keep myself from rolling over onto my back?
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I have an idea: Fall asleep on your side with your back facing the far side of your bed…that way if you fall asleep and roll onto your back, you’ll fall off the bed ;) hehe
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Ha!
Well… that might actually work. But then wouldn’t I just snore my head off on the floor?
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Apparently, playing the didgeridoo can help to strengthen the throat muscles, and will help to prevent snoring when you sleep. I too am “one of those awful people who saw logs all night” (my wife has suggested that scary sounding surgery – Um. No.). I’m thinking of trying out the didgeridoo route – I will however, NOT be growing dreadlocks or joining the drum circle in the park anytime soon…
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Hmmmm good point…but maybe with enough times of falling onto the floor and potentially hurting yourself, your unconscious will learn never to roll over onto your back. I know this is all bullshit, but i’m enjoying myself :)
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Talking on the phone with a friend today it turns out the general opinion on snoring is:
I suppose when it comes to my greater sense of vanity, perhaps that’s true. And well said. That said, however, it would be so nice to be a little quieter for the greater good.
I don’t really see me taking up the digeridoo as a practice any time soon. But I don’t see me having my glotis removed surgically either… how would I roll my r’s or growl into the mic?
Quitting smoking is suggested as an excellent method of reducing inflammation in the throat. I have been walking in a wide circle around that idea lately… Not ready to step up to the task just yet. I love smoking.
Maybe I should just start with no dairy before bed, and a spoonful of honey and see if that stops shaking the house?
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When I was in my early 20s I developed this theory that men snored so you wouldn’t forget they were there :)
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the fact that you snore isn’t a problem. the problem is that i don’t get any sleep and go crazy the next day.
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isn’t it true that when pregnant, women are supposed to sleep only on their side? or is it the other way around?
well, perhaps there is a mama out there who can suggest ways of ensuring a certain position all night…
ZZZZZshhzzzzzshhzzzzzzshh
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okay, crap. i just read that and it didn’t make any sense.
i believe i was told that pregnant women should either sleep only on their side, OR only on their backs. so, that’s what I meant.
but i’m pretty sure it’s on the side, since i tell my pregnant students too avoid lying on their back during class and to do something differnt during abs.
anyway, you need a body pillow to prop you on your side all night.
ramble, ramble, ramble.
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Allison, you’re so cute.
Megan, I’m so sorry.
* slaps his hand to his forehead and moans *
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i think Allison is on to something - you could sandwich yourself between two big body pillows…. like a big snuggly sunshine hotdog. Totally.
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What intimate bedtime fun!
Got any catsup?
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my pregnant wife does sleep on her side (something to do with some nerve/circulation), and has a FANTASTIC timber shaking snore that begins pretty well the instant she dozes off… on her side.
she doesn’t believe me when I tell her she snores.
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Does it keep you up at night Fritz?
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ok take full advantage of this situation, record your snoring every day for a month and then sort it all into usable samples and make some music from it. if you cant stop it then use it to make music
peas
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I believe everyone snores sometimes. I thought I was perfectly silent til I woke myself up snoring and then had quite a laugh. If you are by yourself, then snoring is not a problem unless you have very thin walls. If you are sleeping with a partner, then I believe it is up to you to give your partner license and permission to nudge, “kick” lightly, or push you to another position. This sets up a learning process that can gradually pay benefits in decreased frequency and heaviness of the problem. It may take several months, but it is amazing what the human brain can learn, “even at my age”.
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Well here’s a little follow up:
I’ve learned a couple things since I originally posted this. First thing is that it’s counter productive to evaluate the situation by recording yourself and then saying “that is bothering you?” However sweet and light a snore, when it’s right in your ear, or just repetitive enough to disrupt the sleep of those we would rather not disturb, even if they are tense, or “hyper vigilant” the best approach is to make an effort to reduce the sound, or stop snoring altogether.
solutions:
Jack is right. Kick me, wake me, get me back on my side. Please. Your sleep, and the peace and quiet of the building is much more important than a momentary nuisance for me.
breatheright strips actually lighten the sound of the snoring by opening nasal passages.
Snore ease a gentle, not terrible tasting throat spray is also effective. At least it’s effective until the spray wears off, or is swallowed. Then you need a nudge to spray some more on, and flip back onto your side.
There’s another trick too, something I have yet to try which clips gently onto your nostrils. This is supposed to be amazing. “the only thing that works” and I can’t wait to try it.
Finally, a good mood and fully relaxed mental state which follows prayer and meditation, or a long hot bath, or awesome sex, or anything which helps you to mellow out… or any combination thereof is the best way to begin a good night’s rest for both the victim of a snoring companion as well as the snoring person.
I’m feeling a lot less embarrassed about it now, and more interested in the solution. I’ll follow up again if there’s more news to report.
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no, doesn’t bother me anymore, I do exactly what Jack said… I find it kinda sweet in an animal planet kinda way.
After all, this beautiful woman has chosen to snore with ME… I’m a lucky guy!
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When I was on a family vacation and had to share a room with my unbelievably loud snoring father in law, I bought a small loud fan to run at night. It made enough white noise I couldn’t hear the snoring. This might help in the interim. :-)
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From this point of view Fritz, I’d say Dagmar is a pretty lucky woman too.