sǝuoſ ǝuıɥsunS

Historically speaking, we really don’t know too much about Saint Valentine. There were several of them, and despite the Catholic Church’s fastidious record keeping, and long tradition of the St. Valentine’s Feast which is observed on February the 14th every year, the only known or recorded activity of any such saint is having overseen the construction of the basilica at Terni, and lends some credence to the current hypothesis that Saint Valentine, of the Catholic variety, was a Roman who may have been a priest, or may have been a bishop, but who was definitely buried along the Via Flaminia and has had a few churches named after him (or them.)

That said, we certainly do know a great deal more about the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre of 1929 where members of Bugs Moran’s gang were gunned down along with an unlucky mechanic who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, by a vengeful Al Capone’s henchmen.

Made into swiss cheese and about to expire, an investigating officer asked one of the men if he had any idea who had shot him. He replied simply “I’m not gonna talk - nobody shot me” and then promptly died.

Sounds about right to me. Thankfully, Highball, one of the victim’s German Shepherd was not injured in the massacre. What became of him is unclear. I feel certain, however, that he is buried along the Via Flaminia and has had a few churches named after him as well.

Happy Valentine’s Day!