sǝuoſ ǝuıɥsunS | notebook, journal, inter-web log

Tonight I was making some great progress on a deadline, and feeling pretty good about it. I decided to head upstairs and make some tea, and watch something on television for half an hour or so, you know… take a wee break.

I went up the stairs, grabbed the tea kettle, filled it up with water, set it on the stove and switched on the burner and went into the other room and sat on the couch. A few minutes later something smelled strange. “What is that?” I thought. Not really concerned. But when a few more minutes passed and the smell began to change from the pleasant smell of steam to something more toxic, I got worried and ran into the kitchen to find the entire stove had burst into flames.

“What the fuck?” I thought to myself as I tried to quickly determine why the stove was covered in bubbling black liquid and completely on fire… I fanned the flames, no response, I grabbed a towel and picked up the kettle, flames lapping at the bottom and sizzling melted plastic dripping into the stove.

“Oh my god…” I realized what I had done. I set the electric tea kettle onto the stove, flipped the burner on high, and left the room for five minutes…

I think I can honestly say that this is, hands down, the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. Really, I’ve done so many stupid things, but nothing compares to placing the plastic coated electric tea kettle onto a hot flame, and then being baffled as to why the kitchen is on fire, and the house is filled with black, toxic smoke.

Instead of tea, or a break, I scrubbed the ceiling, the walls, the floor, the sink, the burners, and did my very best to get the kitchen and the stove back in order. We lost a burner, but I think the parts can be replaced.

Just when you think the lamest thing you’ve ever done is behind you… it suddenly appears in the present. A gift from the laughing Buddha.

Gee thanks.