After a couple years of working hard to collect my thoughts, and gather inspiration I’m ready to get it on. I’ve proven with Sunday Soul that I can produce a deeply personal mosaic of electronic music, live performance, and improvisation every week for the last six years. I have a track record of breaking down boundaries, live performance, and stand the test of time as a pioneer in electronic arts.

I’ve really given my art a lot of thought lately, perhaps way too much thought, and the conclusion I’ve come to is that I want you to book me. I want to come to your city, your town, your club, your country and perform live bélle âme électronique for you and your crew. I don’t want to compromise anymore. I no longer want to place myself behind the “decks” at super clubs where people were hoping I would play some other sort of music. I want to show up prepared to be completely myself, open my heart, and challenge you to feel something, to give yourself to the music, and to trust me.

Maybe this looks like a Sunday Soul tour, maybe it’s afternoon events, maybe it’s beaches, fields, and renegades. Maybe it’s something to do in the very clubs I feel so uncomfortable in. I am as ready and willing to challenge myself as I am to challenge you. But none of this can happen if I’m sitting around my little treehouse waiting for the right moment in time. And that is why I want you to book me.

Listen to the Sunday Soul archives
Listen to my original music, and recent re edits

Download these long and lusty sets, add them to your iPod and travel with me, take me with you. Open your hearts and feel the love in me as it flows through you. And then email me and book me.

I wanna get down with you so baad.

I used her faithfully every sunday for my vocal and dub effects on Sunday Soul. She gave me courage to sing, and that special something to set me apart from the wreckage of the fray.

Last sunday night I plugged her in, and the lights were out. I tried batteries, other wall plugs, but it was true, she had passed on from this world.

I do not have the $225 plus tax I need to replace her right now, and so I will remain silent until I’ve found a way to secure another one.

If you’d like to help, please contribute something to Sunday Soul’s donation page:

http://sundaysoul.com/donate.html

Thank you for your sweet and durable service. I’ll miss you for the rest of my days.

Limitation

noun
1 a limiting rule or circumstance; a restriction
a condition of limited ability; a defect or failing
the action of limiting something
2 a legally specificed period beyond which an action may be defeated or a property right is not to continue

I have always applied limitations to myself as an electronic musician. Initially I felt opressed by my limitations because once I learned the basics of my first synthesizer, drum machine and sampler, I felt that if only I had more devices, more sound sources, more raw material for sampling I could make much better sounds, and thus better music. Since I couldn’t get more than I had, I had to get clever, and work hard to make the most of what I had. Years later I found myself sitting in a room or two chuck full of keyboards, rack mount synths, piles of drum machines, a big expensive mixxing desk, and all the time in the world to work on music. Guess what? I didn’t get anything done. I was overwhelmed and over supplied. I required some degree of structure in order to make simple decisions about what things to use, which devices to play, and so I imposed limitations upon myself. By limiting the number of devices whcih I could use in a particular project I Was able to turn my attention to those devices, and make the most of them. Once that was complete, I could then record an unlimited number of live tracks in addtion to the limited number of synthetic devices if that’s what I wanted to do. This really nourished my work. The limitations became a source of even deeper creativity and inspiration.

While I have always talked collaboration I have to admit that as a person more often possessed by a visual image, or complete work in his mind, the truth is that when inviting anyone to collaborate with me either they were really only there to play a single instrument, sing, or else they were sadly being invited into traitorous cooperation with the enemy. I’ve never been very patient as an engineer, nor as an art director, I’m a very good producer, but somehow that’s different because I’m in charge, and the task is not to collaborate, to agree, or to have a dialog, but rather to use the performer(s) to solicit the performance material required in order to go off on my own and complete the project. As an artist, I have such a meditative, and painterly process that I have not yet found a way to allow another person into it. But it’s what I’ve always wanted.

I would describe my relationship with my partner Moonbeam in dubtribe sound system as very very close. Certainly as a band we collaborated in the best sense of the word. We shared our duties and responsibilities, and then when it was time to perform we let loose and really let our heart’s show. Still, in the studio, it was like pulling teeth to get me to let go enough to play, to create in a non serious manner, to simply jam and patiently wait to see what we came up with. My head has always been so muddled with music, lyrics, sound, words, and pictures that for my nearly inhuman ability to continue talking long after people’s gnat-like attention span has long since passed, that I have never really been able to put my creative thoughts into words. Thus, it comes out as music. Perhaps if I were a more traditional musician – with an expert’s knowledge of any instrument – then I might better understand the rules of scale, key, signature, notes, and the language of the musician. I have collaborated with other drummers, and played bass and guitar with other musicians, but of a true collaboration, I’m not sure I’m there yet.

As a promise to myself for the coming year, I will open up my heart a little wider and invite every creative and talented person I meet into my studio for at the very least an afternoon of possibility. I want to collaborate. I want to discuss the rules, and then break them together. I want to go further than I’ve gone before. I need to mix down the last of these 22 tracks which have plagued me for more than three years now, and begin a free adventure with some of the amazing people in my life right now.

I needed to examine these words tonight. Typically I assume I am operating with the primary definiton of the words, but when I Really look at their possible meanings, I discover that I have been holding myself back, playing at being disabled, and absolutely conspiring with the enemy. Tonight I tear off my cast, and chuck the crutches aside, and stuff the enemy codes of “I can’t” and “I don’t know how” and “I’m scared” and “I won’t” into my mouth, chew them up wildly, and spit out the disgusting wad of useless paper into the recycling bin.

Let’s start with a horoscope shall we? If you remember as far back as a year ago I was heartbroken, never to recover, and had lost my way. I got called out and given a thorough pantsing by notorious soothsayer Rob Brezsny in his I’m about to take my vacation year end horoscope for cancer (of which Mr. Brezsny is one too.) He said you’ve been sitting at your desk too long, hidden away from the world haven’t you? Indeed I had. He challenged me to go forth and collaborate, make a mess, fall in love again, and skin my knees and try my hand at the monkey bars. And that’s exactly what I did. I deleted my journal, wrote you my sweet goodbye note, and then I galloped off to live happily ever after.

In his 2009 edition I’m about to take my vacation horoscope for cancer, Mr. Brezsny has this to say:

At first I had to laugh at this silly horoscope. Does Brezsny just send people born in July out into the wild at the end of every year or what? Typically I might balk without consideration, considering we’re talking about astrology here, but in the last year I met an astrologer who has changed my mind about the stars and the celestial bodies’ effect on the human experience. If you haven’t met astrobarry yet, please visit his web site now — I’ll wait, and be here when you get back. Barry came to the debut of my three month residency at Space Gallery this year and was gracious enough to be my first speaker. We were all amazed, delighted, and impressed. I’m not going to try to paraphrase what he had to say about his own skepticism with regards to astrology, or any of the wonderful talk that followed, but what I hope is that you just followed that link and spent some time with him yourself. It’s time well spent if you like to read, and it’s even better in person.

Anyway, so now that I’m not laughing, I have to say that as the end of the year approaches I’ve spent some time reflecting on the last year’s activities and what I determined is this: 2009 was not the year of collaboration, experimentation, and endless love, rather, it was preparations for a journey. It’s not like I was going to suddenly spring forth from my cave a transformed being, ready for action, your reaction, and an interesting wig to wear along the way. No. But the year was not lost, not a moment was wasted. I spent every moment possible in the wild mixing music, writing songs, meeting people, dancing, kissing, making love, traveling, praying, meditating, teaching, learning, reading, doing yoga, teasing, poking, laughing, and smiling. I put a whole new look together, made a ton of new friends, re edited classic jams, and made a pile of progress in the studio. Still, my life feels somewhat small to me. Love walked in, pursued me wildly, and then walked out, then walked in, then walked out, and finally walked in and back out again (I am dizzy too) and what I learned (only last wednesday) is that the problem, whenever I am disturbed (even in my intimate relationships) is me. Ugh…

The world still feels so small to me. Restricted by very poor finances, distracted by amazing afternoon sex, delighted by the necks of women who don’t even like me, and inspired by my eyes, ears, nose, and mouth, I feel as if I am about to burst with joy. I am, it turns out, a good deal happier and more resilient than I was a year ago. And so I will leave you again, just for tonight this time, with this thought:

Yes, this year I will travel into the cosmos. With two albums coming out, Dubtribe reunion concerts in full swing, solo bookings piling up, Sunday Soul transmissions at what feels like a creative zenith, not a soulmate in sight, but a dogpile of associates, and a magnetic force which seems to drive every woman I meet wild with desire for beautiful, amazing, poetic, sexy me, I feel my ruck sack is about as packed as it’s going to ever be. I’ve got my helmet on, and I’m ready to take flight… just clap your hands twice and say “yeah” and we’re outtahere.

Someone I love very much told me that they’d heard something bad about Rob Brezsney recently, but they knew how much I liked his horoscopes and so they didn’t actually tell me what they’d heard. It’s fine with me. I’ve heard a lot of things about a lot of people, including myself, and personally I think hearsay is for the birds (and mouth breathers.)

In his year end horoscope for Cancer, born June 21st through July 22nd, Brezsney offers the following:

I’m going to take the man up on his invitation.

To begin I have started putting pen to paper again, yes an actual journal. This is partly because I want to live in the real world, and because if I keep giving my writing away on the inter-web for free there is substantially less of a chance I will ever be published. Speaking of publishing, if you are an editor, or a publisher and you arrived here looking for my work, it’s here if you’re looking for fiction, and here if you’re looking for non fiction and essays.

You can find news of my music at Treehouse Muzique, information on my community supported recording project here and my weekly radio show at Sunday Soul, and my breathtaking photography is always here too, so it’s not like I am going away from the inter-web completely or anything. I’ve just quit smoking, dedicated myself to yoga, and am opening my heart and my mind to the real world I have spent so much time setting myself apart from over the last couple of decades.

Please don’t be sad. I will miss you too, but I’ll be back at the end of the year and we can talk about my new collaborations, intimate relationships, and all my wonderful new friends. It will be a glorious day indeed.

Until then…

Love,
Sunshine

I am holding a space for someone who is holding a space for me. Someone who loves me,
wants me, desires me, appreciates me, approves of me, and can not breathe when I am not
beside them. I am holding a space for someone who can come to me, bravely entering the
unknown, pushing, pulling, giving openly and taking everything.

I am holding a space for someone who can stand on this earth, rooted in themselves,
crowned with love, and by self-love. Someone who can walk their own path, but is not afraid
to traverse the boundaries of the back country, nor walk the peaks of any mountain.

I am holding a space for someone who’s lone thought among the colors of slippery, wet fingers,
rising fires, and shimmering climax is me. My smell, my face, my eyes, my hands, my heart. Me.

Nothing else will do.

an except from an ongoing conversation with a dear friend.