sǝuoſ ǝuıɥsunS

I’ve spent the morning reflecting upon friendship, and the last few days of un-journaled events.

Late last night a friend of mine came over. She needed a friend. We hung out and talked. She needed to talk. She arrived in tears, but left smiling. I walked her home at 4am, and though the crisis hadn’t passed, there was the glow of friendship between us. There’s just nothing like true friends. Nothing in the whole wide world. We’ve got plans today to head down to mission street to get me a hair cut, and search for a new pair of shoes.

Last thursday night a friend arrived for a weekend visit. We had plans to do all sorts of things, but only ended up hanging out, eating, talking, sleeping, and working on a little code project. We got the work done, and said goodbye this morning. How amazing to get to know someone in real life, to develop friendship beyond the boundaries of the inter-web experience. Though the adjustment period when you are connecting the face of the person sitting in front of you with the voice you’ve only read, and heard on the telephone, is like a finger painting transforming into a photograph, it’s simply wonderful to prove that what is exchanged via instant messenger, and email is an actual exchange of humanity between people who genuinely appreciate each other, and are actually friends.

Many of my friends have crossed my path this weekend as well. Calling to say hello, texting me urgently, taking me to lunch, or dinner, or stopping by for a coffee. In the middle of lunch at Herbivore with Bob and Arline, about a third of the way through my papaya salad I found myself watching the little boy sitting in the chair at the table in front of me, he was dressed just like his father and they were a beautiful pair of men. I thought of my son, and could smell him on me. Everything was right in the world.

I realized in that moment, that I hadn’t taken a few days off work in several months. Can you imagine not taking a day off for months? How strange to stop. How wonderful to be able to.

I am blessed, and I am loved. I love, and offer my blessings. This reciprocal relationship, these ongoing conversations which live and exist within the real world are fundamental to me. How did this happen? I am so independent, and never ask for anything. Yet, here are these people, this collection of human being with whom I am connected.

From the text message and phone calls between Jaya and me, support and encouragement shining out of my little phone, the kismet of Megan Miller, Doc Martin and I reuniting as true friends after years of silence, Jason and I having a curry tour of our own home town, or working on a re edit we actually like (for once,) Laura inviting me to do something unique every time she comes into town, Calvin’s sweet messages of praise for my music, Adele wanting to meet me for tea, the nightly phone calls with the men I know, and admire so deeply for their perseverance and dedication to their own growth and development, the passing of faces on the street I know, the two rows of chairs filled with people i know and love, the room full of people I know and have known for years, the happy phone call of Rachel reminding me that we need to get together and laugh some more, all the way to the unanswered text messages I send out into the universe. These are all the threads of the relationships I have with people in the world. I am blessed indeed. There is so much love in this world I am moved to tears. At least I am moved to tears now that my guest has gone, and the phone is silenced, and I’ve finally had a minute to meditate properly, and allow these connections to dance within my heart, and rise up into the mists around me, and depart.

Today, the sun is out. There it is, shining like a bright happy light. It is warmer than it’s been in weeks. What a wonderful thing it is to have friends, to feel appreciated just for being me. To spend time in the company of the most wonderful people who like me, and don’t want anything from me.

What a curious thing to take a few days off, and enjoy them.